Saturday, July 16, 2016

Common Step Family Problems

“Yours, mine and ours” makes for an amusing movie plot, but it doesn’t assure a harmonious home. With so many different kinds of families these days, you would think we’d know how to make it work, but we don’t.

It’s a challenge to be a stepparent, no matter how good your intentions are. Maybe we’ve seen too many “wicked stepmother” stories that there’s an assumption of the stepparent as being the enemy. As soon as a new “parent’ arrives in the family, the children start carving out territory.

Then the adults get in on the act. Before long, the battle lines are drawn. As the kids struggle to defeat the stepparent, their biological parent is emotionally torn between kids and new spouse.


Friday, July 15, 2016

Marriage Done Right: Step-families and 'The Brady Bunch' myth

First, the bad news: Nearly half (about 45 percent) of marriages are remarriages. Second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages (about 60 percent).

And, despite what you may think from "The Brady Bunch," if children are involved, the divorce rate in second marriages is 50 percent higher than for those without children.

Now, the good news: If you are in a step-family, there are some things you can do to greatly improve your chances of success. For the next few weeks we will be looking at the issue of step-families and some tips on how to help them work.

Ron Deal, in his book, "The Smart Step-Family," points out several realities that most couples who remarry overlook. Before we look at what couples can do to improve their chances in a step-family setting, it's important to understand four of the most common unrealistic expectations many couples cling to as they approach marriage for the second time.

Read more...—myth


How to Find Stepfamily Harmony

Stepfamilies are the fastest growing type of family in the UK, but in many ways they represent the wild west of family life. There are no clear rules, very little advice and few good role models (especially in fairy tales).

I found this out for myself both as a psychologist studying stepmothers and personally, when I met my now husband, who had an 18-month-old son from his previous marriage, while I had a three-year-old son and a daughter aged six. I went into these new circumstances thinking - ‘I’m already a mum, how hard can it be?’


Monday, July 11, 2016

The Smart Stepdad: Steps to Help You Succeed

The Smart Stepdad: Steps to Help You SucceedAs a stepdad, you've taken on a heroic challenge. Leading stepfamily expert Ron Deal equips you to navigate the stepparenting minefield with
· Everyday advice on how to connect with your stepchildren, be a godly role model, and maintain a strong bond with your wife
· Perspective on what the kids are going through--and why things don't work the same as in a biological family
· Wisdom for handling tricky issues such as discipline, dealing with your wife's ex, and hugging your stepdaughter
Two chapters for your wife to read and tips for her throughout the book will help the two of you work as a team. This is the survival guide that every stepfather needs to succeed.

About the Author
Ron is a marriage and family author, speaker, and therapist. He is Founder and President of Smart Stepfamilies and Director of Blended Family Ministries for FamilyLife

The Smart Stepdad: Steps to Help You Succeed

Saturday, July 9, 2016

An Open Letter to Anyone Dealing With Our Blended Family : Tips and Steps

An Open Letter to Anyone Dealing With Our Blended Family : Tips and Steps

First of all, I want to say thank you.

Thank you for accepting our beautiful patchwork family as we are.

Thank you for all the love and support you have given and will give.

Thank you for being there from the beginning, and walking with us through to the end.

We wouldn’t be here without you.

that we are learning more about our unique family and its challenges,
there are a few things that will help us that we would like you to know:

Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended Family

Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended FamilyLove may be sweeter the second time around, but once the bliss of a newfound relationship wears off a little, the reality of being part of a stepfamily sets in. If you are one of the millions of remarried Americans facing the challenge of blending two existing families into one cohesive whole, you are part of a stepcouple—and you know all too well how hard it can be to make your marriage work in sometimes tough terrain.

Different parenting styles, finances, relationships with ex-spouses, legal matters, and even seemingly simple issues such as the kinds of chores assigned to children can chisel away at your union if you don’t always make your marriage a priority.

Stepcoupling offers advice for stepcouples on how to do just that—all the while strengthening their blended family with a healthy marriage. Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green provide tips and strategies on dealing with the issues remarried couples face, with a wealth of advice from real-life stepcouples, such as:

* Learning to tailor your expectations of your spouse or children and remembering that no family is perfect
* Knowing where your boundaries are, whether involving a hostile ex-spouse or a stepchild who demands too much attention
* Realizing that traits like flexibility, tolerance, forgiveness, and openness are especially essential in a stepfamily situation
* Making “us” time for talking, problem-solving, weekends away, and enjoying your marriage to constantly renew and strengthen your bond as a couple

Click here to Read more

Monday, July 4, 2016

This Is Hands Down The Biggest Challenge In A Blended Family

This Is Hands Down The Biggest Challenge In A Blended Family : Tips and Steps:

What have been some of the biggest challenges you've encountered as a stepparent so far?

Communication is hands down the biggest challenge in blended family life.

I would say about 95 percent of the issues that result from co-parenting and blended families are related to a communication error.

When there's other parents, you need to have strong communication or everything else will fall apart.

There was one time when I was trying to be helpful by picking up the kids early on a Sunday.

I wasn't aware that it was their stepdad's birthday.

The kids' biological mom Stephanie thought my husband knew.

Stephanie assumed I knew this as well and thought I was trying to be rude and ruin their plans.

This caused a huge fight. All that would of been avoided if we all communicated with each other.