Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Step parenting just one crew of kids is not so easy

Step parenting just one crew of kids is not so easy

Wednesday, July 4th, 2012 at 6:29 pm  

A blended family consisting of one parent, kids, and a step parent has some advantages over a blended family with two sets of kids, but that is not to say things are easier.

The outsidercrafting white rhods family Step parenting just one crew of kids is not so easy

Often, the step parent moves into an established home where he or she is the only newcomer. This makes moving into the unfamiliar territory of a blended family more difficult. In a perfect world, each new blended family should move into a home entirely new to everyone, but in many cases that is just not feasible. Moving into the home of your marital predecessor can be difficult, but a considerate and empathetic partner can encourage you to make the kinds of changes you need to feel more comfortable. Stepping into former spouse territory will likely be easier, though, than stepping into the space of your step kids’ other parent. As you modify the new step family home, be considerate of theirfeelings and try to make it easier. Your step kids may appreciate photographs of absent parents or other family pictures being hung on their own bedroom walls, for example.

Step moms and other starring roles

Step moms who move into a home where dad and the kids have established familiar routines and family roles may find themselves being cast into the roleof Wicked Stepmother, deserved or not. Some step moms do consider auditioning for the role of Big Sister, or Best Friend, but luckily are often rebuffed. Luckily, your step kids need your role to be that of step mom, in partnership with their dad.  Put your energy into being the kind of step mom who loves their dad, treats them with loving kindness and consideration, and expects to be treated with respect.

Step dad, Pal, or Captain Obedience?

If you think you can just slip in and make wholesale changes to the lives of your step kids, think again. No matter whether your step kids need a friend, need to show more respect for their mother, or need a splash of reality in their lives, what they need most is that you love and respect their mother and treat them fairly.They need you to stand firm with their mom when it comes to discipline, and to be the kind of step dad who is there when they need him.

Rules and discipline

Even when there is just one more person added to the family mix, there is a great need for formalized step family ground rules. Mutual respect should always be first and foremost on the list, especially for communications between step kids and their step parents. There may be times when people do not agree, but they can be perfect times to model the skill of disagreeing without being disagreeable.

Love

Step parents often worry ifthey do not immediately fall in love with their step kids. Love usually takes time, especially if you are met with suspicion or outright hostility. Try not to feel guilty about it, and concentrate on getting to know your step kids, without expectations or judgment.In the beginning, it is enough to know that your partner expects you to try. It may help to think of love as something that is not earned, but something that is given away unreservedly.

If you feel like an outsider in your blended family, give it time. Let your step kids get to know you. Take care that you give credit for something well done, use restraint in advice or correction, and be open to every opportunity. It is worth the effort. The Blended and Step Family Resource Centercan further give you tips on how to manage your  blended family.

 

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Related posts:

  1. Blended family life not so easy for kids of divorce
  2. School Vacations for Blended Families
  3. Blended family quality time
  4. Setting reasonable expectations for blended family members ensures success
  5. Blended family with two sets of children, no problem!

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Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - Step parenting just one crew of kids is not so easy Wednesday, July 4th, 2012 at 6:29 pm   A blended family consisting of one parent, kids, and a step parent has some advantages over a blended family with two sets of kids, but that is not to say things are easier. The outsider Often, the step parent ...

Real life bursts the Brady Bunch bubble | adelaidenow

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Psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg said the first two years could be the hardest, with stepparents who try to discipline their stepchildren one of the biggest issues.

"They have to understand they are not the parent - they can come to play a central role in their stepchildren's lives but that takes a long, long time," he said.

Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - via adelaidenow.com.au Psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg said the first two years could be the hardest, with stepparents who try to discipline their stepchildren one of the biggest issues. "They have to understand they are not the parent - they can come to play a central role in their stepchildren' ...

Real life bursts the Brady Bunch bubble | adelaidenow

Media_httpresources0n_rctsw

Psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg said the first two years could be the hardest, with stepparents who try to discipline their stepchildren one of the biggest issues.

"They have to understand they are not the parent - they can come to play a central role in their stepchildren's lives but that takes a long, long time," he said.

Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - via adelaidenow.com.au Psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg said the first two years could be the hardest, with stepparents who try to discipline their stepchildren one of the biggest issues. "They have to understand they are not the parent - they can come to play a central role in their stepchildren' ...

Here's a story . . . a blend of love and patience the key to big happy families

The couple are juggling two houses but plan to marry and live together on the Central Coast. While their children do "have their moments", Mr Moses said they were one of the lucky blended families.

"We're fortunate they get on as well as they do," he said.

He was not surprised at the increase in step-families and said the biggest challenge was providing consistency.

"From a parenting point of view, you need to be on the same page," he said. "What they're allowed or not allowed to do, their routine, basically everything.

Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - via news.com.au The couple are juggling two houses but plan to marry and live together on the Central Coast. While their children do "have their moments", Mr Moses said they were one of the lucky blended families. "We're fortunate they get on as well as they do," he said. He was not surprised at the ...

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Disrespectful Step Children and Teens - What To Do When Your Step-Kids Disrespect You

If you haven’t done so already, sit down with the kids in your blended family and lay out some ground rules. Start by saying, “In our family now, this is what a parent is.” And, “In our family now, these are the expectations on every child.” I recommend that you tell your stepkids from the beginning, “You don’t have to call me Mommy, but you have to be respectful and follow my directions.” And both adults need to do this with all the children in the family.

Did you do this. Did you sit down with the family and lay out some groundrules

Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - If you haven’t done so already, sit down with the kids in your blended family and lay out some ground rules. Start by saying, “In our family now, this is what a parent is.” And, “In our family now, these are the expectations on every child.” I recommend that you tell your stepkids from the beginning ...

Monday, July 2, 2012

PlayStation rage killing and maiming children

New boyfriends moving in with their partner and children without parenting experience can also prove dangerous.

For some men, this can motivate them to turn their life around, but for others they struggle to bond with the children, she said.

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/digital-life/games/playstation-rage-killing-and-maiming-children-20120702-21bik.html#ixzz1zVifGZVt

Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - New boyfriends moving in with their partner and children without parenting experience can also prove dangerous. For some men, this can motivate them to turn their life around, but for others they struggle to bond with the children, she said. Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/digital-life/games/playst ...

Re-Marriage/Re-Partnering Centacare Brisbane - Stepfamily Queensland

Re-marriage and re-partnering can involve a number of challenges and changes. Facilitators work with couples to explore expectations, changes in family structure and dynamics, new parental roles and implications for children.

Fees

Please contact Centacare Catholic Family and Community Services for fee advice.

Contact

58 Morgan St
Fortitude Valley 4006
Ph: (07) 3252 4371

Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - Re-marriage and re-partnering can involve a number of challenges and changes. Facilitators work with couples to explore expectations, changes in family structure and dynamics, new parental roles and implications for children. Fees Please contact Centacare Catholic Family and Community Services for f ...

Positive Families / Stepfamily Queensland / Stepfamily Australia Network

Positive Families is a centrally located psychology practice that provides comprehensive counselling and psychological services to adults, couples, kids and teens.

Our experienced psychologists are bound by the APS Code of Ethics and are actively involved in ongoing professional education.

All of our team are warm and engaging people who are passionate about assisting individuals, families and couples move forward positively with a range of practical strategies.

Positive Families

Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - Positive Families is a centrally located psychology practice that provides comprehensive counselling and psychological services to adults, couples, kids and teens. Our experienced psychologists are bound by the APS Code of Ethics and are actively involved in ongoing professional education. All of ou ...

Stepfamily Brisbane / Stepfamily Queensland / Stepfamily Australia Network

Apart of Relationships Australia, there has to be other stepfamily resources in the Brisbane area.

If you know any please contact me.

Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - Apart of Relationships Australia, there has to be other stepfamily resources in the Brisbane area. If you know any please contact me. via stepfamilyaustralia.com ...

Step CARE program / Stepfamily Queensland / Stepfamily Australia Network

Has anyone heard of this program.

Found reference to it in the Courier Mail August 2007.

Brisbane couples who have formed a step family in the past three years and would like to participate in a free six-week Step CARE program can call 3735 3351.

Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - Has anyone heard of this program. Found reference to it in the Courier Mail August 2007. Brisbane couples who have formed a step family in the past three years and would like to participate in a free six-week Step CARE program can call 3735 3351. via stepfamilyaustralia.com ...

Sunday, July 1, 2012

10 Tips To Stress Less

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Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - via thestepmomstoolbox.com ...

Parenting Support in the 21st Century

Are you a parent of a 2-12 year old? We would love to hear what you think about today’s parenting support options. Do you use the internet and social media to get parenting advice and support? Researchers at the University of Queensland are interested in finding out parents’ preferences for parenting support, and their use of different information sources, including websites and social media. We are conducting a large Australia-wide survey to investigate how technology has changed parenting support and to find ways to improve advice services for parents in the future.

Parenting-Support-in-the-21st-Century.pdf Download this file

Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - Are you a parent of a 2-12 year old? We would love to hear what you think about today’s parenting support options. Do you use the internet and social media to get parenting advice and support? Researchers at the University of Queensland are interested in finding out parents’ preferences for parentin ...

Getting Toddlers and Children to Eat a Meal Can Be a Challenge

Creativity is Key When Dealing with Toddlers Who are Picky Eaters

Getting Toddlers and Children to Eat a Meal Can Be a Challenge. Here’s How to Attack the Problem

By Chris Thompson

It’s not news that toddlers can be picky, fussy, finicky eaters. The fact of the matter is—it is normal for them to be so.

But before you throw your arms up in the air the next time you encounter such resistance to your efforts to feed your child, you might want to know there are ways to get around this problem.

Physiology (no, not “psychology”) Drives Hunger

The first and the most obvious available to you is human physiology. Our bodies need sustenance; and try as we might not to eat, our bodies will always cause us to become hungry. This law of physiology also applies to your toddler.

However, starving a child to the point that it will eat anything you give it would indeed seem a bit too cruel. It is understandably not a good method for parents to resort to, no matter how desperate they may become to get their child to eat.

What parents need to be when faced with a fussy toddler who refuses to eat or chooses to eat only a certain kind of food is not to become desperate. Instead, they must become creative.

Combine this with Creativity to Solve the Problem

Creativity is the key. And what’s surprising about it is parents don’t have to be told that. They already know this is the way to make children eat.

All parents need therefore, are just tips or ideas on the various creative ways to get their adorable little fussy eaters to want to eat. Below are creative ways to apply next chow time:

Make Use of Colors

Children are wonderful creatures who are still discovering the world around them through their senses. And one sense they make use a lot of is their sense of sight.

This gem of an information means children like to look at shapes and colors. And parents should take advantage of this.

Come next meal time, prepare food that incorporates green, yellow and red colors. Children respond to colors, especially the bright cheerful ones. This will make their meal time very pleasing to them.

Sample foods to use, which are loaded with the proper nutrients needed by the child, are vegetables like carrots and broccoli, and cheese sticks for calcium. The choices are limitless, actually. Let your creativity reign here.

Set the Mood with Colors

If you can use color to make your toddler’s eating experience fun, you can also use it to set up his mood to eat.

Using colors to make people want to eat is the secret of fast food restaurants. Red and orange stimulate hunger, and that is why fast food companies make use of them heavily as colors for their tables or chairs, and display boards, and packages.

But while you’re at it, please avoid the color blue. Blue suppresses hunger.

Use Shapes

Have several cookie cutters of various shapes around. Cut fun shapes out of boring vegetables and other foods. It will make your toddler enjoy meal time very much.

Involve the Child in Food Preparation

Take your child to the grocery and let him help you pick the ingredients for his next meal. This fun activity should also continue at home where you make him assist you in the food preparation.

Even if you just let your child observe, seeing how you transform the food he helped you pick out into his meal would add some excitement to eating experience.

And there you go. Making meal time fun time for your toddler is really up to your imagination. The possibilities for fun meals are limitless.

Now go have a healthy happy meal with your child

About The Author:
Chris Thompson is the creator of “Talking to Toddlers”, an audio course for parents. He teaches parents how to overcome the normal problems that every Mom and Dad faces with kids by learning better communication skills.

Make sure you claim your free parenting audio lesson.

Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - Creativity is Key When Dealing with Toddlers Who are Picky Eaters Getting Toddlers and Children to Eat a Meal Can Be a Challenge. Here’s How to Attack the Problem By Chris Thompson It’s not news that toddlers can be picky, fussy, finicky eaters. The fact of the matter is—it is normal for them to be ...

Stepmom Survival Guide

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Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - via stepmomsurvivalguide.wordpress.com ...

Myth 4 A stepfamily is basically the same as a nuclear family

Most children of divorce will experience a stepfamily or " blended" family within the first five years after their parent's divorce.  Even though the parent who is remarrying may be excited about the future with their new spouse, children usually are not welcoming of their parent's remarriage. They may fight against every effort you make to include your new spouse into the family. For children of divorce, their parent's remarriage is shattering the dreams of biological parents reuniting.   It is important for parents to acknowledge that stepfamilies are very different than the nuclear family they may have experienced. Therefore the expectations and rules will need to look different. It is as different as football is from baseball. Can you imagine if you used the rules of football to play a game of baseball? Or vice versa? It just would not make sense, and it would be pretty chaotic. Stepfamilies can be very chaotic when operating under the impression that blending a stepfamily occurs quickly.

Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - Most children of divorce will experience a stepfamily or " blended" family within the first five years after their parent's divorce.   Even though the parent who is remarrying may be excited about the future with their new spouse, children usually are not welcoming of their parent's remarriage. They ...

Parent Line - New South Wales

Parentline_nsw

Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - ...

How to deal with the Ex - Wife - Marriage Counselling Sydney

It was once said, “if you disrespect the parent, you disrespect the child,” when it comes to talking about and dealing with ex-wives and husbands. This is very true and children will definitely pick up on disrespectful comments and disparaging remarks about their other parent. In the case of a blended family where there is shared custody, parents are far better off finding ways to work together in respectful ways regarding custody arrangements, parenting and other issues which involve their children. It is not necessary to adore your ex, but it is necessary to at least be civil when dealing with them, even if they do not return the respect. What your respect will achieve is respect for your child and their relationship with their natural parent. This type of behaviour will also help children to better respect their own future relationships.

Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - It was once said, “if you disrespect the parent, you disrespect the child,” when it comes to talking about and dealing with ex-wives and husbands. This is very true and children will definitely pick up on disrespectful comments and disparaging remarks about their other parent. In the case of a blend ...

Marriage Counselling Sydney | Blending Step Families

  • Adults in a blended family need to be alert to the needs of their children and patient as the family adjusts. They also need to be aware of their own emotions and allow for their own period of adjustment.
  • It may not always be appropriate for a step parent to discipline their step child, especially early on in the relationship.
  • Every attempt should be made to be civil and respectful to ex-partners as this shows respect to the child.
  • Stepfamily Australia - http://stepfamilyaustralia.posterous.com - Adults in a blended family need to be alert to the needs of their children and patient as the family adjusts. They also need to be aware of their own emotions and allow for their own period of adjustment. It may not always be appropriate for a step parent to discipline their step child, especially e ...