No, I did not find the answers every stepfamily member is looking for. No, I haven’t found the miracle formula. In fact, as of now, a few years on the road, I’m considering accepting like a proven fact that there are no safe harbors. Due to human nature, and all the sensitive components involved, conflict will always arise, even in the most harmonious families, even if all individuals involved are “nice people”.
I have arrived to my first conclusion of fact: good faith is the only umbrella we have available in the rainy roads of interaction within a stepfamily. Be intelligent enough to prepare to fight the worst, but hope for the best. Take Good faith in any single action, so my conscious can feel fine when the storms threaten and comfortable when the rain temporally stops.
Just came across this blog today. Though you maybe interested.