Saturday, December 31, 2011

Custody Chaos, Personal Peace: Sharing Custody with an Ex Who is Driving You Crazy

This empowering guide is an inspirational roadmap for the millions of men and women navigating a rocky relationship with a former spouse-while trying to maintain a healthy atmosphere for their child. Topics include:
* The 7 strategies for peace when an ex refuses to change
* Skills for taming former in-laws
* Ways to help children cope with a difficult parent
* Strategies and alternatives for focusing anger
* How to avoid hot-button issues
* How to nudge an ex to change for the better
* Ways to deal with children's questions and confusion
* The new partner's role in the old partner's shadow
This is the book for every frustrated parent coming out of a divorce who needs support in setting things right-the healthy, sensible, and sane way.


For more information - Custody Chaos, Personal Peace: Sharing Custody with an Ex Who is Driving You Crazy

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married

"Most people spend far more time in preparation for their vocation than they do in preparation for marriage,” No wonder the divorce rate hovers around fifty percent.

Bestselling author and marriage counselor, Gary Chapman, hopes to change that with his newest book. Gary, with more than 35 years of counseling couples, believes that divorce is the lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as intimate teammates.

So he put together this practical little book, packed with wisdom and tips that will help many develop the loving, supportive and mutually beneficial marriage men and women long for. It’s the type of information Gary himself wished he had before he got married.

This is not a book simply to be read. It is a book to be experienced. The material lends itself to heart-felt discussions by dating or engaged couples. To jump-start the exchanges, each short chapter includes insightful “Talking it Over” questions and suggestions. And, the book includes information on interactive websites as well as books that will enhance the couples experience.

Dr. Chapman even includes a thought-provoking appendix. By understanding and balancing the five key aspects of life, dating couples can experience a healthy dating relationship. A revealing learning exercise for dating couples is included at the end.

Click here for more information

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives: Survival Guide for the Next Wife

Told from a next-wife’s point of view, this book offers a candid, sometimes tongue-in-cheek, exposé of the realities of remarriage. Using these lessons, women contemplating marriage to divorced men can arm themselves for what lays ahead. Everything is comprehensively covered: learning to survive the murky waters of stepmothering, mastering the treacherous terrain of reluctant in-laws, avoiding tripping in the footsteps of the woman who came first, and exorcising the ghosts of their new husband’s ex-life once and for all.

Click here for more information

Step Parent Rights – A Stepfather's Role

Step parents' rights are not always clear, especially concerning a step dad's role. Does a stepfather have the same rights and responsibilities as a biological father?

While it is great that divorcees are remarrying and giving their children a two-parent home again, the rights of step parents are often unclear. What are a stepfather's rights and responsibilities? The answer is that, even if the new step dad pays all the bills and raises the child, a biological father usually has more parental rights.

Read more at Suite101: Step Parent Rights – A Stepfather's Role: Step Dad's Rights Different from Biological Father's Rights |

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked

If you’re one of the more than 15 million stepmothers in the country, you know the particular trials—and joys—of stepfamily dynamics today. You wonder if you’re doing the right thing and, as a stepmother, many of your specific questions are unique. In this second edition of Stepmotherhood: How to Survive Without  Feeling Frustrated, Left Out, or Wicked, journalist and stepmother Cherie Burns brings together countless insights and sound advice, based on the latest research and interviews with experts in the field (including dozens of other stepmoms), to answer questions such as:
• How do you manage discipline when parents and stepparents disagree?
• How can you help stepsiblings get along?
• How do you handle birthdays, holidays, and weddings?
• What’s the best way to get along with your stepchild’s mother?
• When should you seek a therapist’s help?
Burns’s wise and empathetic suggestions go beyond struggle, stigma, and compromise, showing how sensitive, informed stepmothers can take charge—and pride—in their role, becoming more effective and fulfilled. Review

The role of stepmother has long been maligned--just think of Cinderella's or Snow White's stepmothers. Since 1985 when Cheri Burns published this funny, helpful book, stepmothers have felt relieved and no longer so alone. Burns, a stepmother herself, wrote the book to help fellow travelers understand the dynamics and conflicts of their role and navigate the stormy waters of "Expectations," "Guilt," "The Wicked Ex-Wife," "Discipline," "Vacations," and more. Stepmotherhood remains a vital guide for any woman who is either contemplating stepmotherhood or who is already there.

Click here for more information

Thursday, November 24, 2011

The Divorced Child: Strengthening Your Family through the First Three Years of Separation

Divorce is a reality of today’s family life, but clinical research has shown that it is possible to mitigate its negative effects on children. Dr. Joseph Nowinski, a family therapist with over 20 years of experience treating families, argues that there is a three-year window in which to acclimate children to the change in family life. Combining case studies with new research, Dr. Nowinski gives parents the information and the tools to work through the transition. Written in a warm and authoritative tone, Nowinski will teach parents to:

· Focus on your child’s new day-to-day reality

· Identify early signs of trouble

· Help your child through the separation process and help them develop coping skills that will remain with them through life

Click here for more information

Step Parent Rights – A Stepfather's Role

Step parents' rights are not always clear, especially concerning a step dad's role. Does a stepfather have the same rights and responsibilities as a biological father?

While it is great that divorcees are remarrying and giving their children a two-parent home again, the rights of step parents are often unclear. What are a stepfather's rights and responsibilities? The answer is that, even if the new step dad pays all the bills and raises the child, a biological father usually has more parental rights.

Read more at Suite101: Step Parent Rights – A Stepfather's Role: Step Dad's Rights Different from Biological Father's Rights |

8 Strategies for Successful Step-Parenting

Today's statistics reveal that as much as 65 percent of all marriages end in divorce.

Among divorced couples, more than 50 percent are parents; and many if not most of them will remarry. An overwhelming number of adults in our society have chosen to become step-parents. This book assumes that no matter who you are, and how much experience you've had with kids, becoming a step-parent, sometimes called the "blending of families," is difficult work.

The book presents 8 Strategies, in the form of action steps, to maximize anyone's chances of success in this challenging endeavor.

The authors are a married couple, and partners in their own blended family. They have also worked with hundreds of clients over twenty-three years in their counseling practices.

"Being responsible for the day-to-day physical, emotional and spiritual care of someone else's children takes a lot of guts," they assert, it takes "persistence, optimism, focus, and love for your new partner, enough to commit yourself to his or her children."

Use this book to discover how to:

* create a "parenting partnership"

* move beyond resentment of or competition with the former spouse

* examine and work with your unrealistic expectations about yourself and your kids

* build new and happy memories with your step-children, while respecting their old ones

* use the "Family Hierarchy Ladder" to resolve many problems before they show up

* get the help you need when "things" or people break down.

8 Strategies for Successful Step-Parenting is written in a non-apologetic voice, offering strong and specific direction to address current problems-including:

* how to create a Behavior-Consequence program with children who are acting out, and

* how to anticipate areas of conflict and confusion, like where to live and how to assign bedrooms to kids, as some live-in permanently and some visit regularly.

Vignettes of 30 real-life family situations support the strategies suggested. Issues and examples are applicable cross-culturally, and address needs of both men and women. This book will empower readers to take up their new challenge with common sense, firmness and compassion; but most of all, with greater self-knowledge-the best strategy for success in any important task. And, as they assert, step-parenting is not only important, it is life-altering.

Click here to read more

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Stepfamilies Seminar - Bathurst 26th October 2011

This seminar looks at stages of becoming a stepfamily and the difficulties that may occur. It aims to give participants a chance to share their experiences and to help them move forward.

02 6333 8888

Source: Stepfamilies - seminar

The Stepmother's Guide

He loves her. She loves him. But his kids hate her.
Or bait her.
Or ignore her altogether. She?s the stepmother, and sometimes she feels
as if she?s never played a more thankless role. It doesn?t have to be
that way. With this book, the stepmother will find the advice she needs
to win over even the most resistant children. This honest, practical
guide written by a therapist and stepmother who?s been there shows
stepmothers the best ways to handle the most challenging situations,
including how to:
  • Get off on the right foot from ?hello?
  • Build a relationship with each child
  • Share Daddy with his children
  • Define boundaries as a couple
  • Negotiate issues with Dad as well as the kids
  • Deal with their ?real? mom
  • Survive holidays, birthdays, and school vacations
  • Create family rituals
this book, millions of stepmothers find the strategies they need to
safeguard their new marriage and establish a happy, peaceful new blended

Source: Love Him, Love His Kids: The Stepmother's Guide to Surviving and Thriving in a Blended Family

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Smart Stepdad, The: Steps to Help You Succeed

While resources abound for stepmothers, stepfathers are often left to travel a difficult road without clear directions. Ron Deal offers advice for men navigating the stepfamily minefield, including how to connect with stepchildren, being a godly role model, how to discipline, dealing with the biological dad, and keeping the bond strong with one's new spouse.

He gives perspective on what the kids are going through and why things don't work the same as in a biological family. The Smart Stepdad provides essential guidelines to help stepfathers not only survive but succeed as both dad and husband.

Source: Smart Stepdad, The: Steps to Help You Succeed

Stepparenting in Gay and Lesbian Families

Important among the wide variety of stepfamilies are the families formed by the same sex partners with children from a previous marriage or a previous relationship. Gay and lesbian stepfamilies bring to their system both the usual stepfamily issues and the additional challenges faced by homosexual individuals, partners, and parents in a heterosexual, homophobic society. These sources of stress often interact resulting in problems with communication leading to difficulties with roles, identities, and co-parenting alliances.

For example, Adrienne, a high school teacher, is concerned about the reports coming home from the elementary school about her partner's daughter, Stacey. Stacey's mother, Elaine, defends Stacey and thinks Adrienne has too high expectations. As they discuss their concerns, both know it would be helpful if they talked jointly with Stacey's teacher, so that they could both ask questions and hear what he has to say. However, Adrienne has not come out to her employer or colleagues about her sexual orientation.

She is concerned about a case in a neighboring school district in which a colleague lost his job when a parent reported that he was gay. She also feels vulnerable because she is new to this system and has not yet gained tenure. If they present themselves to Stacey's teacher as a couple, Adrienne's job may be at risk. Elaine is also concerned because Stacey's teacher seems to be very conservative and traditional in the material he presents to the children. She worries about his prejudices making it difficult for him to treat Stacey fairly.

Read more: National Stepfamily Resource Center

Step is not a four letter word

Many of our notions about second marriage families are based on hypothetical comparisons to an idealized form of the nuclear family. For instance, many people believe, even if they don't come right out and say it, that divorce is caused by personal failure in the relationship.

It is as if we now have the legal, but not the moral, right to divorce. What is not talked about is that divorce is also a function of our increased life span. In 1850, it is estimated that life expectancy was about 40 years. For those born in 1990, life expectancy is about 80 years. This gives us a substantially longer time "til death do us part." The average length of marriage in the late 1700's was 7 years, because one of the spouses died. (Ironically the contemporary average length of time between marriage and divorce in the U.S. is also 7 years.)

Also, given the short life spans of our ancestors, second marriages were very common. In fact, 100 years ago, 20-30% of marriages were second marriages, just as they are today. Traditions for remarriage varied across religious and cultural groups. Some advocated remarrying immediately to have the "best" results, others suggested waiting one year. Whatever the arrangement, stepfamiiies were an important group in the community.

Read more: National Stepfamily Resource Center

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Step Family Challenges

Stepfamilies and blended families operate in a different way to intact biological families. The dynamics of a stepfamily are more complex and there is a need for special understanding and management from both biological and stepparents working together for a healthy stepfamily growth to happen. In this workshop you will:

  • find out what is and what isn’t helpful
  • learn how to grow a strong and loving couple relationship
  • learn how to manage discipline and understand the needs of the children and
  • have an opportunity to address particular issues within the group.
Source: Step Family Challenges

Fathering after Separation - Western Australia

It’s important for fathers to distinguish between their parenting
role and the relationship break-up. This seminar, held in a male-only
environment, suggests ways in which fathers can keep in touch with
children, even if hindered by formal access arrangements. This seminar
looks at:

  • developing age-appropriate communication skills;
  • particular skills with child/children to cope with different space and time;
  • developing and communicating a functional and distinctly
    parent-focussed relationship with the mother of their child/children and
  • enhancing your own health and well-being.

Source: Fathering after Separation

Living in a Step Family - Western Australia

Couples with children from previous relationships may need strategies.

Strategies on communication, agreement on discipline – who spells out the rules and what the rules are – and on handling competing demands. It is just as important for couples to ensure that in a busy week there is time just for each other.

The six-week course covers

  • the differences and uniqueness inherent in step families
  • the need to let go of the past in order to devise mutual expectations, which requires good communication skills
  • parents’ roles and challenges in the step family, and the need to establish positive biological and step-parent roles
  • what children experience and how they cope in step families
  • nurturing the couple bond and development of conflict resolution skills particular to the step family experience
  • charting of step family stages and the building of new step family traditions.
Source: Living in a Step Family

Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives: Survival Guide for the Next Wife

Product Description

A candid (albeit at times tongue-in-cheek) expose of the challenges of remarriage, told from the second wife's perspective. Unlike books written by those who have never experienced being a second wife, the author of Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives is an ex-wife, a second wife, a bio-mom, and a stepmother.

Reading this book is like sitting down with an old friend - a remarried friend who knows first-hand what you are going through. You will come away with the assurance that you are not alone in your struggles as a second wife. Even more, you will know that it is not you that is crazy, but rather the crazy-making situation called remarriage.

About the Author

Paula Egner has authored many on-line articles about remarriage, stepparenting, and life as a second wife. She is currently working on her second book on remarriage. She is also the author of - If There Be None - a women's mainstream novel (available on

Source: Ex-Wives and Ex-Lives: Survival Guide for the Next Wife (9780975296400): Paula J Egner: Books